Barry Jenkins worked in a small insurance office in Croydon. He wasn’t particularly ambitious, but he was proud of one thing: he had never, in 17 years, lost a stapler. His desk was a shrine to stationery, neatly arranged pens, colour-coded folders, and a mug that said “World’s Okayest Employee.”

One Monday morning, Barry arrived to find the office printer blinking ominously. It displayed a message: “I’m watching you.”

Barry blinked back. “Probably just a glitch,” he muttered, sipping his lukewarm tea. But then the printer spat out a single sheet of paper. It read: “Nice tie, Barry.”

Barry looked down. He was wearing his novelty tie with dancing badgers. Only his mum and the cat had seen him leave the house.

He asked Sandra from HR if she’d been messing with the printer. She said she hadn’t touched it since it printed her divorce papers twice last week. Barry tried to ignore it, but the printer kept printing strange messages:

“You forgot your lunch again.”

“That spreadsheet was rubbish.”

“I know what you did in the supply cupboard.”

Barry was rattled. He unplugged the printer. It printed: “Nice try.”

He called IT. Darren from IT came, looked at the printer, shrugged, and said, “Have you tried turning it off and on again?” Barry glared at him. Darren left.

That night, Barry stayed late to confront the machine. “What do you want from me?” he whispered.

The printer whirred and printed one final message: “Just a bit of fun, mate. You take life too seriously.”

Barry stared at the paper. Then he laughed. Properly laughed, for the first time in months. The next morning, he brought in a doughnut for the printer.

It jammed immediately.

---

Vocabulary Notes

Rattled
Meaning: Feeling nervous, worried, or confused, often because something unexpected has happened.
Example: “Barry was rattled. He unplugged the printer.”
Similar words: Shaken, Disturbed, Flustered, Alarmed

Lukewarm
Meaning: Slightly warm; often used to describe drinks or reactions that are not very enthusiastic.
Example: “He muttered, sipping his lukewarm tea.”
Similar words: Tepid, Mild, Room temperature, Half-hearted (when describing reactions)

Spat out
Meaning: To eject something quickly or suddenly, often with force or annoyance.
Example: “Then the printer spat out a single sheet of paper.”
Similar words: Ejected, Shot out, Coughed up (informal), Released

Shrugged
Meaning: To raise and lower your shoulders to show you don’t know something or don’t care.
Example: “Darren from IT came, looked at the printer, shrugged…”
Similar words: Gestured indifferently, Dismissed, Ignored (contextual), Gave a nonchalant response

Properly
Meaning: In a complete or thorough way; often used informally to emphasise something.
Example: “Then he laughed. Properly laughed, for the first time in months.”
Similar words: Fully, Truly, Genuinely, Wholeheartedly

Story written by Copilot AI.

Image created by Copilot AI.

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